emotional regulation

As a therapist I deal all day with people who have difficulty regulating their emotions. Either too much anxiety - or not enough. Too much anger, too much sadness, too much mania, too much rollercoaster of all of it. Somedays are tougher than others. This happened to be an exceptionally tough day - I've had worse, mind you, but this one was up there and I had a headache coming home from work for all of the stuff I took in.

Superhero is off coaching baseball. These days are tough for my kids. Tough to be all day at day care, tough to come home to just Maba. At least that's what I'm guessing.

I picked up the kids from day care only to hear that my usually mellow and laid back Thing 2 had a rough day of crying all day at day care. My first thought: ear infection? He has a bad cough and runny nose. But she says no fever and he napped well and hasn't complained of any pain. Hmm...

I am leaving for NYC in two days and really don't want a night from hell with my kids. I don't want it to be mean Mom Tuesday or any day for that matter. So I said a prayer and told myself that no matter what I wouldn't lose my patience.

I so get why some parents are driven to child abuse. This was one of those nights. Not that child abuse happened. But they so were driving me there. Wrong wording I know - parents who abuse make that choice to do so, blah blah blah... it's my simplistic way of telling them (if/when they read this in the future) of how it is. Plus this blog helps to chill me out. And any parent who says "I can't imagine doing that blah blah blah" either is a candidate for sainthood, a liar or should be a therapist and teach the rest of us how to get through nights like these. Argh.

Nothing could make Thing One happy. Didn't like the pizza, complained that he wasn't tired (at supper when I never even mentioned the word sleep and when I asked him why he stated that he got ANGRY), wanted dessert (he got a chocolate malt), wanted more dessert after finishing the malt. Told me to stop yelling at him and that he'd keep yelling at me if I was yelling at him - I WASN'T yelling at him - at all (surprisingly) - which made it all the more frustrating to get yelled at by him. Etc. etc. etc.

Thing Two had continuous tears after supper. Nothing I could do could distract him or make him happy. A recent example is as follows:

Two: I want water. I want water. I want water. When given the cup, he throws the cup. He hit me repeatedly, etc. etc. etc.

Me: (breathe)

Ugh.

I put him up in bed crying/screaming. Thing One is up there as well. At least it's an earlier bedtime.

Beautifully, Special K just was placed in her crib and didn't make a peep. She has been the happy one tonight. I am blessed in certain moments.

Suffice it to say, some days, after dealing with emotional disregulation all day and then coming home to a disregulated house.... it can be a bit much. But so goes parenting. And so is the life I chose and love.

Now off to tuck in my quieter boys with kisses and God blesses.

Amen to having patience this evening and not saying anything hurtful or doing anything hurtful.

Someone is watching over them/me.

But wait a minute - I think Thing Two is doing something naughty as I type - I can hear him in K's room - AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH